In an age where convenience is key, we get what we want, when we feel we want it and when we think we need it. As life gets faster, we look for short cuts to keep up with the pace – some work, others don’t. When we don’t get what we want we question why. We head to medical specialists asking questions (often not getting the answers we want), we blame ourselves, our partners, our mothers and we search for solutions, or we give up.
This applies so much to falling pregnant. We spend so many years not wanting to fall pregnant, using artificial hormones to stop our natural bodies from working, we abuse our bodies, most of the time not even realising we are doing this. For example, a magazine article recently said that it is okay to only eat one meal a day. We, as women have become highly career orientated, which is wonderful but comes with its own stresses which again puts strain on the body, and all of this happens year upon year. Suddenly you realise the biological clock is ticking and that you are not getting any younger. This is when you want, need and have to have a baby. So you start trying.
You think this has to be easy - you go off your hormonal birth control which you have been on for 10 years, your husband loves the fact that you now want sex, and you have sex everyday thinking that this baby making thing has to be easy – come on, how many teenage girls and women have unplanned pregnancies? How many of your friends have families of their own? However, month upon month nothing happens. You then start to dread that period. With every period you get you hate it even more, because now it reflects not only the physical pain and the frustration of wearing a tampon, sanitary pad or a Mooncup, and the fact that you can’t wear that white sexy dress to that business function because the last thing you feel is sexy! But now that menstrual bleed resembles failure, your failure, your body’s failure and you question why this is so easy for so many people. You let a tear out, allow just 10 minutes to weep but life carries on. So while you are battling with this the world outside just doesn’t seem to care.
Eventually you make the appointment with the specialist, in some cases you are prodded, poked and questioned. Sometimes they will tell you: you have blocked fallopian tubes, your eggs are insufficient, and the list goes on. Most of the time the specialists are insincere and really, all they want is your money. Some women (more each year) will be convinced that IVF is the only way to go others simply do not have the finances so they do not even let themselves think about this.
But while all this is happening have you ever taken time to think: How did I get to this point? Where there warning signs before? The truth is if you are not falling pregnant, there is a reason. Often it is the reason that something in the body is not working right, some system is out of balance or some part of you is not ready to fall pregnant.
Think about it: you spent so many years trying not to fall pregnant and then one day the switch changes but when this switch changed did you look at your lifestyle? What are you eating, what are you doing to your body and how is a baby going to fit into your life? Well, living on Woolworths readymade meals, drinking excessively over weekends, loving the sweet flavour of 2 sugars in your coffee each morning to kick start your day, your work hours that keep you up to the wee hours of the morning and the stresses of making everything happen. Now you look at your life, your body and you really question what may have been done to support this body so that it can do this amazing task of creating another human being. What have you done? What have you changed?
Not falling pregnant tells you that there is something wrong with the bigger picture (emotional, psychological and or physical) and its giving you the opportunity to change it. It is the biggest sign of all signs that say: The way you are currently living is not supporting your health. You can treat the symptom (IVF,etc.) or you can look at it holistically. Find out why and what is out of balance. Babies come when they feel they can survive, when they feel that you are really ready for them and when you truly love your body. Until then, this is the time to help you, your body and your mind.