POWER OF SURRENDER
The ego holds tightly to its agenda, making us powerless and our life hard.
Commitment to the practise of surrender brings joy, ease and love.
Is surrender acceptance? Is surrender letting go? What do we let go of? What do we let go to? Surrender is accepting people, experiences and situations exactly as they are, without any desire to change them. We allow the truth of what is happening or who we are engaging with, without projecting judgment, expectations, defences, opposition and so on. We are unaffected and able to maintain a connection with our inner self. There comes an inner knowing that what life presents in the moment is perfect and we would not want it any other way for there is purpose behind it. We develop a trust in the indescribable intelligence and love of the great creative force in which we exist. We allow it to hold, nurture, guide and support us.
Another way of expressing this would be to say that we surrender into the ever-moving flow of life itself, the dance of yin and yang, the Tao (translated as the Way), or Divine Will. The real, immortal and substantial part of ourselves, our soul, becomes unmoved, peaceful, calm and serene, in fact, unshakable in all weathers.
Having spent much of my life resistant, resigned and reactive to whatever was going on around me, I have discovered priceless jewels of wisdom in a profound understanding of the meaning of surrender, its application and the resultant rewards. Let me share this with you.
So much of our energy is leaked onto what we can do nothing about. For instance, queuing, being stuck in traffic, the door bell ringing, the unwanted phone call, interruptions, the beggar at the car window or the door, the bungling tediousness of bureaucracy, breaking of agreements ("The plumber promised he would come yesterday morning….."), the individual we just don't like, the house guest you don't really want, are just a few examples. These are life's offerings which, by reacting to we make ourselves unhappy, miserable, irritated, resentful and stressed out.
As a child I recall an incident in the car when I was sitting next to my much loved and feared father. As we approached a set of robots they turned red and he exclaimed vociferously "Everything is against us!" I remember thinking "But it's only robots"!
The problem with resistance is that we create so much pressure for ourselves. The law of attraction, as explored in the film The Secret, explains that "What we resist, persists". One thing goes "wrong". We get attached to it, perhaps our inner critic is saying "Isn't life hard? Why do I have to struggle so?" and this mantra becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. The next thing goes wrong, and the next and the next…………And you know what? We are powerless. Why not surrender first and go the way of wisdom and ease? In doing so we literally shift form the past and the future into the perfect present, the sacred moment, the only one there is.
The ego, we know, is based in fear. Its numerous agendas, such as being addicted to achievement, perfectionism, martyrhood, self-pity, to name but a few, always have their counterpoint. For instance, submerged under the achiever's modus operandi lies an unconscious fear of being un-acknowledged or unnoticed. The subliminal fear of the perfectionist is of criticism, judgement and being unloved. The poor victim feels not good enough and undeserving.
The most common pattern is control. Consciously or unconsciously, the ego says "I want things my way". Under this behaviour lies a deep fear of chaos, disorganisation, fragmentation, even resistance to allowing the expression of feeling in case they are overwhelming and the person cannot cope. I recall a loved family member who had a difficult and painful childhood sharing his experiences, tears flowing, body shuddering. After a while I gently asked if he would care to do some deeper healing and be free of sadness, anger and resentment. How I wish I had never spoken. With a look of resolute determination he said: "No, I can cope" and I saw him pushing all those feelings back inside.
Whether we talk about a life of surrender or a life of addiction to our ego patterns developed though childhood woundings, all experience is based in polarities. We cannot have joy without sadness, clarity without confusion, progress without stagnation, connection without disassociation, to name but a few. Evolution moves forward through the dance of these polarities, whether in daily life or a relationship. As a wise man said "The human has the same struggle as the amoeba"!
The question is do we want to fight this with resistance and reaction or do we choose the path of surrender, resting in the moment of challenge, connected with that which is real, eternal and loving within us?
Resignation or giving up is not the same as surrendering. Resignation leads to loss of inspiration and will, it creates a sense of powerlessness, psychological heaviness and alienation.
The Way, the Tao, has been referred to as a doorway. "A doorway to what?", you may ask. When in London I heard a talk given by a man who had been through this exact doorway. As he came into the room he appeared to gather himself and make an inner connection. His audience of 40 or so, were immediately enveloped in profound peace, stillness and love. It was an unusual, if not extraordinary and memorable experience. He then proceeded to describe the journey which led him through the doorway into a great ocean of consciousness in which "we live and move and have our being". He had been walking in a London park, weighed down with anxiety, sadness and stress. His business was in trouble, his marriage collapsing, one of his children heavily into drugs and he had no money. Uselessly and unceasingly his mind was engaged with these issues.
He decided to let go his thoughts and feelings and simply to experience the walk. He concentrated on the sound of his footsteps and noticed each one was different, unique. This continued for a while, and then, quite suddenly he went through the doorway. He entered the ocean of consciousness. He experienced children playing, people walking, dogs, trees, grass, flowers, distant traffic, all held in this vast energy of light, love, peace and bliss.
Although increasing numbers of us are having experiences of this nature, they are often momentary. The difference here was that this man has sustained his connection to the field. What was the key? Complete and total surrender. He gave up everything to simply be present. He told us we could all do it. "The light and love is there for you. It's already holding you. It's all around you and within you. All you have to do is to let go".
He said he had not been living a "good" life at the time, meaning he was not meditating, doing any practices, praying, taking care of himself. The point is that this experience is available to each one of us at all times.
With surrender we initiate a different life experience. We move into the light of ourselves and receive positive feedback. We have a relationship with the Divine, or whatever you choose to call All that Is, so we can be increasingly assisted on our journey. To say that this assistance would come from angels who tend to us, is no idle, flaky statement. Just as we have hands that work for us, so angels are the hands of God. Serendipitous experiences become so commonplace they appear normal and we are profoundly changing our consciousness.
Living the surrendered life is living in a feminine way for we give up judgments, resting in the flow and the present. Because life is duality and requires balance, we do not ignore the male dynamic. This is expressed through clear intentions, projected into the field of consciousness. Surrender is a shamanic journey where we hold true to our intention without rigid adherence to a fixed plan. We allow things to unfold, knowing and trusting that our intention will be fulfilled at the right time and in the right manner according to the wisdom and the great intelligence of the universe.
In my own journey, I do not know how I would cope today without surrender. We all experience time speeding up and there is more and more to do. It has become for me the path of amazing grace. I do not always manage it, but it is a skill and I am practising. The gift of the rewards encourage me on and I am learning to be in the world in a different way, without struggle, touching into wondrous creativity, and growing in trust of life.
This is our true inheritance. This is letting go "doingness" and claiming "beingness", fully present in every moment, living with ease and grace. The Grand Plan is manifested and spirit expresses itself through us. We can let go fears and concerns, the mundane no longer bothers us and we become light-hearted and joyful. O, what delight!