Some call what I do Tantra, others call it sexological bodywork or sexual healing massage. The list of names goes on, along with fancy wording and spiritual jargon. Honestly, I prefer to do away with all of that and simply commit to walking beside you as you explore issues such as fear of intimacy or touch, loss of sexual sensation, lack of sexual confidence, premature ejaculation, stress related erectile dysfunction, trouble reaching orgasm, vaginismus, and pelvic floor issues. I use various techniques including tantric touch and tantric principles, massage, rebalancing and myofascial release. It is important to note, however, that sessions with me should never be used to replace any medical treatment, or therapy with a qualified psychologist or counsellor.
Tantra is misunderstood:
Many people understand the work that I do as Tantra. I, however, feel quite strongly that I do not offer Tantra and do not call myself a tantrika, dakini, or any such title. Perhaps clearer explanation will help dispel some common misunderstandings. Tantra is widely misunderstood as a miraculous sexual practice that will lead to multiple orgasms, hours of continuous orgasm, bliss and ecstasy etc, etc. To be perfectly honest, that’s exactly what I thought when I braved my way onto a tantric practitioner’s training course about two years ago. I had been keenly interested in human sexuality for some time and was looking for a way of supporting people who were struggling with the sexual issues that were affecting their quality of life and their relationships. As a matter of fact, I was very definitely amongst those who wanted and needed help, having had a number of issues with loss of sexual sensation, mild vaginismus, and tremendous trouble with reaching orgasm, along with ever declining sexual intimacy in my relationships as life rolled on and “everydayness” took over. It was actually the misunderstanding of the word Tantra which led me to my current practice. I have since been corrected and sometimes even been bombarded with the insistence that Tantra is not what most of us understand it to be. There is the beautiful spiritual path of Tantra which is about so much more than sex. It is, unlike most other spiritual paths, welcoming and affirming of sexuality and the body, but it is not what is referred to in the headlines regarding the sex lives of certain celebrities for example. Apparently, all the juicy stuff is referred to as neo tantra, and it was in that, conscious sexuality practice, and good ol’ psychotherapy that I found and continue to find my healing and growth.
So, if you’re bursting to know whether the multiple orgasms and extended orgasms truly do exist, let me set your mind at ease (or on fire) – YES! They most certainly do. As with everything, it takes some work – fun work, exciting work, giggles, tears, frustration, leaps of joy – but work for most of us. It takes some focused time in which you work only on your sexuality, it takes commitment to clearing up your emotional debris, and it means working on some physical restrictions in the body, but claiming your sexuality back or for the first time is very possible. It is my heart’s desire that each person be truly fulfilled in their sexuality and intimate lives, and so I continue to practice and expand my knowledge of neo tantra, conscious sexuality and bodywork. I learn with each person who enters into session with me. Often that means tossing some of the book knowledge to the side line and working with what is applicable in the moment. I have had many a laugh with clients, many a tear, and have even had the odd client who has thrown their payment at me as if to a prostitute – so let’s clear that one up… I do not offer my work as a form of prostitution, sensual massage, or happy ending massage.
For those who sincerely want support, it would be an honour to be part of your wonderfully unique journey!